3 Weeks Left: Maybe I'm Half 反华?

My cousin, Austin, is gone now. He had a good time here. He ate a helluva lot of new Chinese foods, you just can't get outside of mainland China (or at least not as good).

Hot pot, Beijing roast duck, Sichuan food, Xinjiang BBQ, Dalian seafood, fried breads/buns/dumplings..it was a food festival for the week he was here.

And why shouldn't I enjoy it all? I've only got 3 weeks left in this culinary wonderland. Dining with local and foreign friends is pretty much the only activity I enjoy these days. The warm weather and clean streets of Dalian just aren't doing it for me any more.

Perhaps I am a bit negative these days, but I'm surrounded by negative things which I think after 2+ years of tolerance, it's time for a change of scenery. When your workplace is run by lying, corrupt, incompetent fools (I don't throw those adjectives around lightly, by the way) and you live at your place of employment which is also managed by the above mentioned fools it is tough to find much that is positive.

I will always remember a bit of advice my good friend from Hangzhou, Susan, told me about China and Chinese culture. She said, "the more you learn about China, the more you will dislike it." It was a simple but very powerful statement. I can't help but feel she is right. I see and experience behaviour that most foreigners, whether their Chinese is good or not, would never be allowed to see. Perhaps, it's my skin colour and the fact I'm ethnic Chinese that I get this in depth glimpse of the darker side, who knows. At the end of the day, I've seen it, I don't like it and I'm getting the hell out of here...for awhile anyway.

Some Chinese people have sometimes asked me if I hate China; they even have a special name for people like this 反华 fan hua. Some may even think I look down on Chinese people. This could not be further from the truth. Anyone who's read any part of my website or talked to me for an extended period of time would know I don't hate China or look down on it's people. I write more about the positives of China than most bloggers would care to. I have a special connection and interest in China that most foreigners don't have.

So you may be wondering, 'what don't you like about China?' Where would I begin? Probably at the core of my beefs with Chinese culture is the phoniness and related corruption involved. Of course, the phony stuff is related to face giving and often is the central theme in many 'friendships' in China. Phoniness occurs in western society as well but it doesn't make me want to puke as much as it does here, maybe that's just me?

Schools, government, business and any other organizations are run from the top down. 'Yes men/women' are expected to follow the leader's every instruction without question. I see it everyday at work and through my local friends.

Independent thought or constructive criticism is not only discouraged but it's looked down upon and can land you in very hot water. It's all part of the 'control society' as I like to call it. Control from parents, schools, the government, and any other form of authority you can think of in China.

It's not as if the average Chinese likes life this way; students, workers, citizens all complain about it, but they throw up their hands and/or shrug and say 没办法 mei ban fa which literally means 'there's no way'. Anytime Chinese are frustrated about a decision or instruction from the top that they don't agree with, they say 没办法. I loathe those 3 Chinese words.

So what can be done? As a foreigner, we can just leave but with my special connection with China, even if I leave, there are things that can be done. I've built up a solid base of local friends and students who will be lifelong friends. Their genuine friendship and kindness have touched me and will continue to do so.

All I can do is tell my Chinese friends how I see things from a westerner's perspective, educate the local and foreign readership of my website of what China is REALLY like and cross my fingers for the best.